I’ll begin with explaining what this term means because I don’t know about you but the first time I heard someone say it, it sounded scary! A chronic condition/illness is a health condition or disease that is persistent, basically something that is long-lasting, usually longer than 3 months.
For those who don’t know, I have Fibromyalgia, I was diagnosed about 2 years ago although people believe I’ve had it for years. As a child I was always palmed off with growing pains, I then later got diagnosed with ME/CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome) and I had MANY a scan and tests now here we are. Fibromyalgia also known as FMS is a long-term condition that causes pain all over the body along with increased sensitivity, fatigue, problems with mental processes, headaches among many other wonderful things.
Beside my symptoms which if you googled they’d come up one that won’t appear but the main thing I feel is guilt! And here are a few reasons why…
Feeling bad/comparing yourself
Everyone has something going on in their life, sometimes it’s visible sometimes it’s not and I always feel bad talking about Fibromyalgia or writing about it because I know people are going through far worse and this definitely is not a pity party. So, why are you writing about it now Rebekah? I think although it makes me feel bad I feel it is important for people to talk. I know I don’t have it bad at all, but it’s important to remember everyone struggles in life are their own and sometimes it’s just nice to know there’s someone out there in the same boat as you, whatever boat that might be.
Being the let down
I am that person, the let-down, the ‘I can’t make it’ ‘Can we do it another time?’ and I HATE being that person! There’s only so many times you can say ‘I don’t feel well’ until people just don’t believe you anymore. Nowadays I try not to make plans which in turn quite often makes it look like I’m not bothered about stuff, but I am! I just hate feeling like the let-down.
Being a complainer
It’ll probably come as a massive surprise to many that I don’t enjoy moaning or complaining about what’s wrong with me, but the problem is of having Fibro is none of it is visible, sometimes I can feel so sick, or have the most random pains and I look completely fine and If I didn’t moan or complain nobody would be none the wiser and it’s not always possible to keep going.
Being accused of being lazy
I spend a fair bit of time “resting” which means I spend a fair bit of time on social media scrolling through looking at people I wish I was, which lately is the fitness gods of Instagram, I want to be able to squat more than my weight and have the perfect booty, I want to go for a run when I’m feeling anxious or stressed instead I’m sat here with everyone thinking I’m just a massive ball of lazy.
With all that said, although I’m not doing the best at the not feeling guilty thing currently I think it is important for those who do suffer from a chronic illness to not feel guilty, your health and well-being is what is most important and as the old saying goes…
– Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter!
I’d love to hear from you, does anyone else who’s chronically ill feel guilty? And if so do you have any tips to ease the guilt?